Fiat Panda

I copy a monologue that I liked much about women and fashion. Blue Oil. Women are victims of a plot hatched by evil minds who meet in secret and decide what they call 'trends fashion '. Who are they How do they do I imagine that comes and says: - 'I see that this year is going to take the blue oil.' And a duo jump Victorio and Lucchino: - 'Yes, yes. And the sleeve sweaters, but high collar, and is Fuck! '. And watch for fucking! Because fashion is not an industry. It is a sect directed by queers! And of those people who hate us, what can we wait ... If we do go with these pants that fasten the rump and make us believe we're going well (I think they do that luzcamos those ridiculous thong that both bother).Or with those other long leg pants that are cleaning the sidewalks. Do you know what are the fashion victims It is women who have fallen into their networks and can no longer escape. Those who when they approach a showcase, they hear voices in his head: 'The power of fashion makes you', 'on Dior can you govern '. Actually, I realized the power of this sect when I tried to buy a red dress. Sounds easy, right A red dress. Not really. "Because the stores are in on it! They are the representatives of Dior on earth. And of course, I come and tell the clerk: - I wanted a red dress. And let go: - Red This year there is nothing in red. This year comes the blue oil. - And that red there - That is the case of an extinguisher, but if you take her out. This is how cults start: canceling your will! Because of Suddenly, I am saying - OK, get me a blue oil of 38. And in that moment, the clerk looks at me like a Fiat Panda from an SUV: - Is the 38 You're between 40 and 42. Sure, I looked at her as saying: 'And you will be among stupid asshole's ass' But I said: - Sorry, I'm 38. - No, now. But this year is the 38th tight, you know And that is the second step of the strategy of the sect. Lower your self-esteem to control yourself better. There, I said: - That do not get me. I try on the 38th but me have to put a screw! And of course, you look in the mirror and see what you see. A sausage. A petrol blue sausage. I say: if the entire world a meter is a meter and a kilo is a kilo, why does the size 38 is not always a size 38 You go to Carrefour and size 38 is the King can put Africa and yet, you'll Versace the 38 do not wear it or Melody. Total, I did what we all do: take it away. Yes, because I thought it that we all, "So I force myself to lose weight '. 'I force myself to lose weight. " Are we idiots Within two weeks you're forced to give it your niece. It's like buy shoes size 34 for to make you shrink the foot! But that's another symptom that you are entering the sect: voluntarily submit yourself to physical suffering. Although sometimes when you're not abducted at all, you get a moment of lucidity and say, 'No, I'll take it'.And so, that sent the evil that is salesperson tells you the final sentence: - Take it, do not be silly, you can return it! And we bought it! As you return ... That's like eat a piece of carpet: as you can return! So I went home with my blue dress from the 38 oil. Me I place and I ask my husband: - How do I - Small. - Yes Do I mark a lot - We will make sores. Then I said, 'Tere, moderato.